Week By Week Oct 21st to Oct 31st

October 21, 2014

Still shocked!! It is hard to keep it a secret because so many people know of our IVF journey. It is just scary to tell people you are pregnant when you are only 2 weeks along and have months to go before you are "safe". Just anxious now to find out how many!!!

October 22, 2014
Went for bloodwork this morning. HCG levels are supposed to double every couple days. Mine quadrupled! Makes me nervous for the multiple births now!! We have wished for twins but now I am freaking out that there may be more!! HCG is at 485 and Progesterone 22.8. More bloodwork Friday and then first ultrasound next week!!

October 23, 2014
I realized yesterday that I do not have a photo of a positive pregnancy test since they were all bloodwork by the doctor! So I did one this morning!

 

October 24, 2014 

Bloodwork this morning. Levels went to 1215. Progesterone is at 20.6. Bloodwork and ultrasound next Friday! Not looking for a heartbeat but to see how many that they can see.

October 25, 2014
Long day today! My sister got married... I hated not being able to have  a glass of wine or dance a lot! Had to take it easy!!

October 26, 2014
Sooooooooo tired today!! What a long day yesterday! Need to stay off my feet and relax!!

October 27, 2014
Feeling better today! Going to be a long week until we get to the ultrasound on Friday!!

October 28, 2014
Had really bad cramping on my lower right side today. Googled it and it said it is normal, my uterus and muscles surrounding are starting to stretch! Ouch!!

October 29, 2014
Still little cramps but not as bad as yesterday. These damn suppositories are killing me though! Stop melting out of me!!!!

October 30, 2014
One more day! Had a little spotting tonight. Will check with Dr tomorrow.

October 31, 2014
Had the Ultrasound. They only saw one sac. That does not mean there still is not another one hiding! The HCG level was at 12,036 and progesterone at 24.  5 weeks 6 days!!

Countdown to the pregnancy test on 10/20.

October 10, 2015
The day after the transfer, I still feel no different, good or bad. I am bored of laying around. The lab called and said the embryos needed another day and they would call tomorrow. I continue to talk to my stomach and lay flat. Positive thoughts...I started the Estradiol today. One tablet two times a day. I got a little nervous and scared because the warning label on the side of the bottle says do not take if you are pregnant. I asked the nurse when they called to check on me and she said it is necessary to take and will not harm what was just done. I was also worried about how I was laying. Could I lay on my sides or did I have to stay on my back? She said I could lay on my side. Still made me nervous so I pretty much continue to lay on my back.

October 11, 2015
Slept good. Our new bed has the ability to raise the head and footer. I slept in the zero gravity position again on my back. I woke up wanting a McDonald's hashbrown... I never eat McDonald's. I drove down the street and got 2. Felt good to get up and out for a few minutes but I am back on the couch. The lab called this morning and said that the remaining embryos stopped growing and there was nothing left to freeze. I was shocked and made me cry. Well at least the decision on whether to freeze or not was made for us. Then the work stress started which made me cry. I had to stop taking the calls and make everyone take care of their own problems! No stress! Babies come first!
Still taking the endometrium 3x a day.

October 12, 2014
A relaxing day of watching football. Stress free days of resting should not include watching sports, they can be so stressful!!! =) Mom came over to help put out the Halloween decorations. Still feeling good and continue to talk to the babies! Positive thoughts. Still taking the endometrim and Estradiol.


October 13, 2014
Back to work today.. At least it was Columbus Day so it was not busy which meant not too stressful. Scheduled the pregnancy test for 1 week from today at 9am..

October 14, 2014
Shawn finally is home!! He got to kiss his babies! Still doing well controlling stress at work.. Will see what the next few days bring!

October 15, 2014
I really think I am pregnant! Some smells are making me so sick! I got so sick to my stomach I actually had to go get a Sprite and I do not drink soda! Fingers crossed..5 more days!!

October 16, 2014
One week ago today had the embryos transferred! This post is for the women reading this.. Men..giving you fair warning to move on.... Ok... I warned you... It really is not that bad but nothing a man wants to hear about! Regarding the Endometrin, the vaginal suppositories that you take 3x a day.. The nurses warn you about getting some white discharge from them.. This is an understatement..If you don't wear underwear, you need to start..And wear a liner with them! Not only does it seem like they melt out of you (yes I am pushing them up far enough) they also can come out in clumps of the pill. It does not matter if you lay down for hours after you put it in, it still comes out! Don't worry and freak out, it is normal, just not what you expected.

October 17, 2014
I never get headaches...Not even after a night of drinking..(Ahhhh I wish I could have a glass of wine.. It is going to be a long 40 weeks!) Two days now I have had a headache and not a sinus headache.. This is all in my forehead.. The hardest part so far is remembering to eat. I usually eat one meal a day and now having to eat 3 plus snacks is hard!

October 18, 2014
After the procedure you get a "survival guide" on how to survive the next 2 weeks from transfer to the pregnancy test. One of the tips is not to take home pregnancy tests. Because of all the hormones and medications, you can get either a false positive or false negative.  I have said from the first day that I will not take a  home test. Why would I want to put myself through that? I could get a positive reading and get all excited but end up not. I could get a negative reading then be all depressed and put stress on my body when I really am. I have stuck to that. I don't know why but for some reason today I have been wanting to take one. Maybe I am hearing my sister's voice in my head..She has been telling me to take one every day... I will be strong and wait until Monday!!!

October 19, 2014
One more day!!! I resisted the urge yesterday to take  a test. I will wait for the blood test tomorrow. I am getting more and more excited..and nervous...We both want this so much! The test is at 9am tomorrow... I am sure they do not give the results right there.. I wish they did..I am going to go crazy waiting for that phone call! The best advice I can give is not to stress out about it. You don't want your body having psychosomatic aches,pains and cramps!!

October 20, 2014- TEST DAY!!!!
Went in at 9am for the bloodwork.. Of course they don't tell you anything then, they have to call you later! This may be the longest day ever!! Nope, just 3 hours! Got the phone call around noon that we tested POSITIVE!!! My pregnancy hormone and progesterone levels are great and it is a definite positive!! (Opposed to a maybe positive?)  OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I can't believe it is finally happening! Go back on Wed for more bloodwork.. Then 1st ultrasound in 2 weeks, then 1 a week for 6 weeks.. Hopefully we can find out on the 1st one how many we are having.. Still a possibility for up to 4 if both embryos split. Still hoping for twins, a boy and a girl.. Still have to take the Estradiol and Endometrim for another 5-6 weeks... It is crazy the stuff that we still need to do daily and weekly! Although we are only 2 weeks pregnant, all the due date calendars say that I am 3 weeks because of how they figure it out even though I know the conceived date. It is confusing.. Do I use the date the sperm met the egg? The date of the transfer?? I guess I still have it narrowed down to a few days where most people have to guess!! So we are looking at an approx due date of July 2nd!

The Implantation!

With Shawn out of town for work, Mom took me to the appointment. We arrived for our 8:20am appointment excited and anxious. We waited about 10 minutes before we were called back to the room. I was asked to take everything off waist down and put a gown on. Mom had to put scrubs over her clothes. The lab tech came in and went over the status of the embryos. They asked if we wanted one or two put in. We went with the doctor's recommendation of 2 as we had planned. The 2 best embryos we had were at 2 different stages. The best was a 3BB. The embryos are graded 1 to 4 followed by a double letter AA to CC. Our 3BB is very good and common. The 3 means it has reached full blastocyst, cavity completely filling the embryo. The BB means that the inner cell quality has several cells loosely grouped together and the trophectoderm quality has few cells forming a loose epithelium. That was the best of the 9. The second embryo was a little slower growing, I can't remember the name the tech used, I think it started with a M. Out of the 4 that were first fertilized, these were the best 2. The other 7, they were going to incubate another day or 2 to see how they grew for our freezing options. The tech told me to take the Valium. We waited about 15 minutes then they took us to the room. I laid on the table as mom sat next to me. On the wall there was a large tv screen. The lab put up our 2 embryos magnified at about 1000x. They both looked full and good! Those were our babies!! We watched as the lab retracted them from the petrie dish into the catheter and then they were suddenly in my uterus on the other screen! There they were! These 2 little specks.. And it took only about 5 minutes! Of course now I started to feel the Valium! We went back to the room and got changed and were done! Since were done 45 minutes earlier than planned I had Nena just meet us at Condell so mom could go to work and she could take me home. I was to be a "couch potato" for the next 48 hours. I felt no different. No pain, which is good. I started feeling tired and fell asleep around 1pm and slept until 6pm.  Must have been the effects of the Valium.

1st Valium Ever

Nana scrubbed up

Momma is ready

Nana and Mommy ready

There they are magnified 1000x

Magnified at 500x

Getting sucked up

So small you can barely see!

"I don't see it!!"

There they are inside my uterus! Those 2 spots!! Welcome to your home for the next 9 months! Grab on and get comfy!

Momma and her babies!

The start of the IVF treatments

I had no idea everything including the medications and science that went into IVF. It is absolutely unbelievable the precision and science that was involved! The first medication you start on is Pregnitude. It is a white powder that is made of Folic Acid and Myo-Inositol to help support ovulatory function, menstrual regularity and mature eggs for fertilization. You just mix it with 8 oz of water 2x a day. It is not bad at all, it has no taste. This was available over the counter at Walgreens.
Our next step was having a nurse consult with an IVF nurse. At this appointment we go over all the meds and each step of the IVF procedure. We also got to practice how to load some of the needles with the meds and how to prep for them. We were given a personalized medication instruction sheet. I had to start taking birth control pills. I had not taken these in over 10 years! The good news is you are only on them for a short time, not even 2 weeks. My last active pill was on 09/20/14. Even thought I just had my period 2 weeks before, I was expected to get it again 3-5 days after the last pill. I had another bloodwork and ultrasound appointment on 09/22. At these appointments, they take 1 vial of blood to check hormone levels and a quick vaginal ultrasound to check the size of your ovaries and the number of follicles each has. On 9/24, the shots started. Every evening for the next 3 nights, I had a shot of Follistrum, (some people get Gonal F depending on your insurance) and 2 vials of Menopur. This is a powder that you mix with a sodium chloride solution and also inject. The first night was overwhelming. I could not remember the practice day in the office. FCI has an amazing website that they post videos on each medication and how to prep and take. I did have to watch the Menopur video to make sure I was doing it right. This was so emotional. I am not afraid of needles at all but I was a nervous wreck..Was I going to get sick from the meds? What were they going to make me feel like? I felt so bad I kept snapping at Shawn when he tried to help. Finally I told him to leave and I wanted to do it myself. I think he wanted the joy of poking me with the needles! The way I acted, I didn't blame him!!  A friend from high school had gone through IVF and had been so helpful and supportive. I don't know what I would have done or been like without her advice. She recommended icing the area before the injection, laying on the couch and having the hubby inject. Obviously, I was too stubborn and going to do it myself. The first night, I did the ice and did not feel a thing. The needles are so small that you don't even feel it. The next night, I did no ice and still, did not feel it. At this point, if you are not taking folic acid or a prenatal, you need to start. Also, Shawn had to start "clearing himself out" every 2-3 days. Next came another ultrasound and bloodwork on 9/27. Of course this fell on the morning of my sister's bachelorette party! Luckily there is an office downtown not far from where we were staying downtown. This downtown location was super busy for Saturday morning. It really amazed me how many people were going through fertility issues and needed help! After each ultrasound, they call and tell you where your hormone levels are and how many follicles you have and their sizes. Ideally they wan them between 18-20. The next week, I had blood and ultrasound appointments on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Oh yes and I am still taking all of the medications and shots each night. My follicles were finally where they needed to be do be removed and I was scheduled for retrieval on Saturday. I took my "trigger shot" Thursday night. By this time your abdomen is swollen and sore. In the beginning your ovaries are the size of thumbs. At the stage I was at ready for retrieval, my ovaries were the size of the tennis balls! When we got to the office Saturday, I felt nervous, excited and scared. For this procedure, they put you out in the twilight phase, like when you have a colonoscopy. I really don't remember much from when I woke up. The nurse did come in and tell us that we had 26 eggs removed! Wow! While I was in the retrieval, Shawn had to do his business and give his fresh sample. They then take my eggs and separate them and inject a single sperm into each egg. We had to now wait 24 hours to hear how many eggs were usable or mature. Some are going to be too mature and some not mature enough, again they are looking for the 18-20 size.  I felt fine after the surgery, a little punch-drunk but that's it. I went home and got to just lay and watch football..Not bad! There is no pain, just still the bloated feeling. The warn you of constipation as a side effect and that to avoid it, start taking metamucil. I waited until Sunday night and still having problems a few days later! Sunday 10/5 was my mom's birthday. We went out to dinner and the 7 glasses of water I drank made me even more bloated I felt 9 months pregnant..I know, I know just wait!  They also tell you to eat salty foods and drink Gatorade. That did not seem to be helping me too much. The bloating seemed to go down each day. We got the call Sunday morning that we had 5 mature eggs and 4 were fertilized. 4 more eggs also matured and were going to be feritilized on Sunday. Monday we were told there were 9 embryos! NINE!!! 9 out of 26 may not be good odds, but having 9 embryos is great! We had decided not to freeze them. As I mentioned, our insurance is the best for IVF, they cover everything. They don't cover the freezing. It is $1200 to freeze the unused embryos. Since insurance covers 4 attempts a year, it seemed silly to spend $1200 when if this did not work, the insurance would cover it. After hearing that we had 9 embryos, I started thinking that we should freeze them. The doctor had already said that their intent is not for us to have a litter so they only will implant 2 embryos. That left 9 of our embryos being destroyed.. What if this didn't take and we had to do it again? Even though the insurance covers it, there is a lot that I put on my body going through all the meds and tests. Maybe it was worth it to freeze them? Shawn and I share different views...Some people don't believe that the embryos are human, some people believe that life begins at conception. These embryos have been growing every day in the incubator. I hated the thought of discarding them. At the beginning you fill out a lot of paperwork. One of the forms is what you would do if:
1. The woman dies.. Who gets the eggs?
2. The partner dies..Who gets the eggs?
3. If there is a divorce...Who gets the eggs?
4. If both parents die..Who gets the eggs?

Your choices are to destroy them, donate them for research or donate to someone. Neither Shawn or I could imagine donating them to someone. It sounds horrible, not wanting to help someone or another couple conceive a child but we could not imagine having a child that was biologically ours out there and us not knowing it. We decided on all of these options, to donate them to research. Even that decision now was starting to affect me. Shawn's parents had a friend whose daughter did IVF and they froze her eggs and they eventually had a child from them. After hearing their story, they got worried that because they took so many eggs out of me this time, that we may not be so lucky next time. They offered to gift us the money for the freezing. So generous and loving! We debated back and forth and decided to wait until the morning of the implantation to see how many were still good.

It is Tueday, October 8th and I am just writing this blog..It is something I have been thinking about doing but have been putting off. I just got the call that my appointment is for 8:20am. Of course Shawn had to go out of town for work on an emergency last minute trip to North Carolina! He was so excited to be able to be in the room and watch the embryos be implanted. My mom is going to take me.. Some grandparents get to be there for the first ultrasound or at the birth, but how many acutally get to watch them be put into the mother's uterus!! HA! I am fortunate to have my best friend off work this week so she can pick me up and take me home. Instructions for the next 2 days? Be a couch potato and relax!

Most of the meds I will be taking over the next 30 days

The Pre-Journey Surgeries

When you are younger, you pray, "Please let me get my period! But when you are older and trying to get pregnant it goes to, "Please don't let me get my period!" In March 2014, after not successfully getting pregnant on our own, our Dr referred us to FCI and Dr Jacobs. The initial meeting was a little emotional hearing about all of the possibilities of what could be wrong or what our options may be. Dr. Jacobs explained the initial testing. The husband is tested first because the testing is so much easier! (All Shawn has to do is give his sample in a cup!) If all looks good with his swimmers, they move on to testing me. The testing involves ultrasounds, bloodwork and more. Shawn did his test and everything came back good. He had great morphology and numbers. They might just be a little slow. (He is 42!). I go in for my saline ultrasound. During this procedure, they fill my uterus with saline via a catheter. This allows them to see the uterus full. My ovaries look great and I had a great number of eggs for my age. (36).  They did find a growth inside the uterus. Dr Jacobs said that it took up the whole space inside my uterus and it was a blessing we had not gotten pregnant because it would have turned into a miscarriage because there was no room for the baby to grow. It was like having a quarter inside the space of a half dollar. It may not seem like a very large mass, but when you figure the space constraints, it is! After consulting with my OB/GYN, Dr. Rosenberg, it was decided that this mass needed to be removed. I was scheduled for surgery April 11th. The surgery was to be a simple, in and out, snip and scrape procedure. During the surgery, I started losing fluid and blood. Dr. Rosenberg was not able to get the whole mass because he was worried my uterus would collapse. He cut the blood supply off and hoped the remaining piece would be shed with my next period. When I came to in recovery, the nurse helped me to the bathroom so I can be discharged. I remember sitting on the toilet and the next thing I knew I was back in bed. I had passed out because my blood pressure had crashed. The doctors decided I was going to be kept overnight for observation. I was admitted into the OB/GYN wing. It is weird being on that floor not having a baby! My abdomen was so full and swollen I could not sit up or bend. The pain was ridiculous. The doctors determined that my abdomen had filled with the blood and fluid from the surgery and I possibly had a thermal bowel injury. They used a heat tool to burn off the mass and it could have burned through the uterine wall to the bowel. I was finally release 4 days later! After a month, I went back to Dr Jacobs for another ultrasound to make sure that it was clear to move forward with trying to have a baby. We were all stunned when the mass was back and bigger than it was when it came out a month ago. Seriously, I shocked the doctors. They did not understand how it could have grown so large so fast! I was scheduled for another surgery. This time they were not going to use heat or glycine. They were going to do a new procedure called myosure, that looped around and pulled off the mass instead of burning it. Going into this surgery, I was so scared of the same thing happening again... I remember praying as they rolled me into the operating room, please let this go smooth! I know I have the best doctor and I trusted him 100%, I was worried about my uncooperative body. This time was magic! Dr. Rosenberg said it went so much easier for me and for him and they got it all! But now, another 30 days I had to wait for another ultrasound! When the day came, I was so nervous... The ultrasound tech showed me the screen and Voila! My uterus was empty! When you are trying to get pregnant, that is the only time you will ever be so happy to have an empty uterus! Normally there are three stages to the start of fertility treatments. The woman usually starts off taking medication to help build up the uterine lining and releasing of the eggs. If this does not work, the next step is to have the man's sperm inseminated into the woman at the ovulation cycle. If these steps fail, then there is the IVF. Since we had problems with the tumors growing in the uterus, the doctors both decided if we wanted to, we should go straight to IVF. We were all for it! Why waste more time trying these other options when we had the best insurance for fertility and it covered 4 attempts a year. Next came all of the prepping and decision making to get to the IVF step!

So many needle marks!

One month after being removed it is back

The tumor inside my uterus through the surgical camera